What's holding you back??

OK here we go are you ready for this? I'm going to let you in. I'm going to let myself be vulnerable.
This is hard for me. Really hard actually. Before we get to me though lets talk about you for a second shall we.
As you go through your days, weeks, months and years do you look back and reflect? How could I be better? What's holding me back? A job, a relationship, drugs, food. We all have something that makes us take pause and look at ourselves. Some of us don't like little things about ourselves like being short or to tall. Some of you wish you were skinnier so you could put that bathing suit on and go swimming. But you don't buy the bathing suit because you fear you will be judged. So you stay up on the beach watching your friends from afar splash around in the waves while you say no I'm good I'm just going to work on my tan in your capri's lol.
Why do we do this to ourselves? It's simple. Fear. We are letting Fear guide us in our decisions. We don't wan't to be judged.
So back to me:) As I was running on my treadmill this morning I was thinking about a conversation I had with my sister in law over a coffee date we had. We were talking about life and how we let certain things about ourselves hold us back.She told me she was working on a issue to make herself a better person. She also told me something about her physical self that she does not like and I was like what I don't see that at all. She does though everyday, I don't see it I just see her. It's a funny thing when she looks at herself she sees imperfections but I don't. When I look at myself I see a huge issue but she doesn't at all.
So I opened up to her and told her I love to run, but I love to run by myself away from everyone, because I don't want people looking at me. I don't know if many of you have noticed but I have a very large rack( see jokes to make myself feel better about them). I think in my head when I run everyone will stare at me and judge me and make comments and I don't want that. It makes me feel sad and lonely inside. I don't want to be known as the girl with the large breasts. Then she SAID IT!!
Oh is that why you have the piercings and the funky hair so that you will be known as the girl with the weird hair and piercings not the girl with the large rack. BINGO!! I'm busted!! Deep down inside I have always known this, no one has ever said it to me though. She got it! She got me! and for that moment I felt great. We connected on something that we both struggle with well hers isn't her boobs it's something else. We shared a fear that is holding us back from loving ourselves for what we are.
I have struggled with my large chest my entire life. I let it define me.When I should have just accepted them and loved me for me. So now I'm 42 and still dealing with it. Hiding from people and hiding from what I like to do. I like to run.

I am missing out on so many good moments. Moments that have been stolen from me, by me. So
Let me write that one more time in BOLD.
 MOMENTS THAT HAVE BEEN STOLEN FROM ME, BY ME!!
 Let that sink in Dawn. You are the only one holding yourself back.
There it is. I let you in. This is step one for me. Will I be running in group next month, hell no. This is going to take some time. Acknowledgement is the first step for me. I have alot of healing and work to do. One step at a time.I have to learn to love myself big boobs and all.

So What's holding you back anything you would like to share? Cause trust me I will not judge:)